When Body Burnout Impacts Relationships: A Conversation with Filipa Bellette
In a recent episode of The StacyM Show, I spoke with my friend and fellow therapist, Tricia Chandler, about one of the toughest but most important topics many of our clients face — toxic and narcissistic relationships.
Whether it’s a romantic partner, a friend, or even a family member, toxic dynamics can leave you questioning your worth, doubting yourself, and feeling stuck. In this blog, we’ll unpack:
The signs of narcissistic or toxic behaviour
Why labels don’t matter as much as how you feel
The steps you can take to begin healing
How to protect yourself from falling into the same cycle again
Meet Filipa Bellette: The Woman Behind “Ending Body Burnout”
Filipa has spent almost 30 years in the health and wellness space alongside her husband, Chris. What started as a personal health journey eventually became a mission to help others heal from what she calls “body burnout” — a chronic state of physical and emotional depletion.
Her book, Ending Body Burnout, is a culmination of her personal experience and years of clinical practice, exploring why people reach breaking point and how they can heal on every level — body, mind, and environment.
“I never planned to become a practitioner,” Filipa shares. “I was just trying to heal myself. But what I learned along the way became too important not to share.”
Who the Book Is For
Filipa wrote her book primarily for busy women aged 35–60 who struggle with energy, mood, and gut issues — particularly those navigating midlife and perimenopause.
While it’s written through a female lens, many men have also found value in it. As Filipa says with a laugh, “They might just want to skip the section about vaginal health!”
This stage of life can uncover deeper imbalances in the body — and often, the real cause isn’t “just hormones.” It’s the years of pushing through stress, people-pleasing, perfectionism, and constant overdoing that finally catch up with us.
How to Begin Healing After a Toxic Relationship
Here are some practical steps that Tricia and I discussed:
Go no-contact. Stop looking for closure from the person who hurt you — it won’t come.
Forgive yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for staying too long. Recognise the courage it took to leave.
Do the inner work. Therapy that addresses subconscious patterns (like RTT or hypnotherapy) is often more effective than surface-level talk therapy.
Set boundaries. Learn what healthy boundaries look like and practice enforcing them.
Get comfortable being alone. When you truly value yourself, you’ll only accept relationships that add to your life.
The Four Parts of the Book
1. Heal the Body Systems
When the body burns out, the symptoms can look different for everyone — chronic fatigue, brain fog, gut issues, anxiety, depression, sleep problems, or autoimmune conditions.
Filipa explains that body burnout goes beyond workplace burnout. It’s when rest and holidays no longer help — your body is stuck in survival mode.
“Your body starts whispering with small signs,” Filipa says. “If you ignore those, eventually it screams. That’s when people hit a wall and end up bedridden or completely depleted.”
2. Heal the Mind
The second part dives into the root root cause — the unconscious mind.
While blood tests and supplements can help balance the body, true healing happens when we address the beliefs and emotional patterns driving chronic stress.
Filipa explains that 95% of our mind is unconscious — holding onto childhood memories, fears, and unprocessed trauma that shape how we live, love, and work.
“For me, it came back to a deep belief that I was weak and incapable,” she shares. “I overachieved to hide it — straight A’s, PhD, working harder than anyone. But my body eventually said ‘enough.’”
Through transformational coaching and trauma work, Filipa reprogrammed her mind and created safety within herself — learning to rest without guilt and detach her worth from her achievements.
3. Heal the Body
Once the deeper mental and emotional layers are addressed, the physical healing can finally take hold. Filipa focuses on three key areas: sleep, nutrition, and movement.
Her advice? “Do the minimum to be the maximum.”
That means focusing on simple, sustainable habits — eating whole foods, moving daily (even if it’s just short walks), and getting good quality rest. Overexercising or over-restricting can actually worsen burnout.
Filipa also uses lab testing — not just blood, but stool, urine, and breath tests — to uncover hidden inflammation, gut issues, or toxic load.
“Seeing your results on paper can be a real wake-up call,” she says. “You can’t ignore what you can see — it’s the data that drives real change.”
4. Heal the Environment
The final part of the book explores how your environment — both physical and emotional — affects your health and relationships.
From mold exposure and toxins in cleaning products to the people and energy around you, everything impacts how your body functions.
For Filipa, her wake-up moment came after having children, when her health plummeted and her marriage nearly ended.
“My husband was working long hours, and I was constantly exhausted, anxious, and in pain. I’d yell, cry, and feel like I was failing as a mum. He told me later he didn’t want to come home — he felt like he was walking on eggshells.”
That conversation changed everything. Filipa realised that her environment — her stress, her health, her relationship — were all interconnected. Healing herself meant healing her environment too.
Why This Matters in Family Law
At Aqua Legal & Conveyancing, we see firsthand how stress, exhaustion, and burnout can contribute to relationship breakdowns. When you’re running on empty, small issues become big ones, and communication often falls apart.
Filipa’s work reminds us that taking care of your body and mind isn’t selfish — it’s essential.
You can’t pour from an empty cup, and when your physical and emotional health are depleted, it affects every part of your life — your relationship, your parenting, and even your legal decisions during separation.
Final Thoughts
Burnout isn’t a badge of honour. It’s your body’s way of saying, “Slow down. Something needs to change.”
Whether you’re navigating a relationship challenge, parenting stress, or major life transition, healing starts with awareness — and with giving yourself permission to rest, recover, and rebuild.
You can find Filipa’s book Ending Body Burnout on Amazon, and follow her work at Chris and Filipa Functional Medicine for holistic support on your journey to healing.
At Aqua Legal & Conveyancing, we believe a healthy life and a healthy relationship both start with balance. If your relationship is under pressure and you need family law guidance, our team is here to support you with compassion, clarity, and care.